My Testimony (part 5)
There is someone from Curt's life, whose deception directly affected my life after Curt's death.
What, then, shall I say in response to these things? If God is for me, who can be against me? (Romans 8:31)
The Lord hates cheating and delights in honesty. Proud men end in shame, but the meek become wise. A good man is guided by his honesty; the evil man is destroyed by his dishonesty. Your riches won't help you on Judgment Day; only righteousness counts then. (Proverbs 11:1-4)
Do not take advantage of the widow ... If you do and they cry out to me, I will certainly hear their cry. (Exodus 22:22-23)
BUT, my testimony is not about that one ...
and I give thanks to God, that ...
He is patient, not wanting anyone to perish, but everyone to come to repentance. (2 Peter 3:9)
He rescued me from my own self-righteousness only eight years ago. Though undeserving, God had mercy on me, plucking me from the precipice of the fiery pit. He opened my mind and heart to the truth, and made me a new creation in Jesus Christ. He continues to direct me from the broad road and guides my steps on the narrow path. I pray His forgiveness for my sins daily - that I remain in Him ...
I pray His mercy and grace over your life too!
Psalm 40:2; 2 Corinthians 5:17; Matthew 7:13-14; John 8:31-32
(see below for referenced scripture)
This is a testament to God's love, protection & provision.
He prepares a table before me in the presence of my enemies. He anoints my head with oil; my cup overflows. Surely His goodness and love will follow me all the days of my life, and I will dwell in the house of the LORD forever. (Psalm 23:5-6)
In his twenty fourth month battling pancreatic cancer, Curt suffered a stroke. God delivered him on his bed of pain, by drawing Curt near. He spoke to Curt in his affliction, and Curt's eyes were opened to the truth. Curt became a new creation in Christ, and because he believed, he received the gift of eternal life. And, his name could be found in the book of life.
Job 33:19-24; 36:15; Ezekiel 36:26; Rom 6:23; Zechariah 3:1-4; Rev 20:12-15
On December 30, 2019, twenty five months after his diagnosis, Curt took his last breath on earth. God allowed me to view a glimpse of heaven's glory reflected in Curt's eyes. He then appeared to me in the wonder of the cloud throughout that night. The LORD IS my strength and my shield. Praise Him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine ... All thanksgiving and glory to our LORD and Savior, Jesus Christ forever and ever!
Psalm 28:7; Ephesians 3:20-21
(see Curt’s testimony, and Curt's entry into Heaven, links provided below)
By God's mercy and grace ...
My daughter came to Christ as a result of Curt’s death. This alone is a blessing beyond measure! She has been my rock, both physically and emotionally, throughout this difficult time of loss and heartache.
While I may not be a widow in the traditional sense, the Social Security Administration recognizes me as such.
On top of that, I received three art jobs the beginning of 2020, and completed all of the work before the Corona virus dictated our lives in proximity to others.
This income would prove beneficial in the days to come.
I have, since, received two more jobs.
Anne, Curt’s financial advisor, provided her services to me free of charge. She called me most days, blessing me many times over these last few months with her expertise and loving guidance. She truly is a friend indeed!
Michele and Tom, quickly became close friends and were ever present throughout Curt’s ordeal. In a heartfelt invitation, they opened their home to me "as family" after hearing of my sudden, unexpected, grim situation. They are in Christ, and their love and generous nature gave me hope in a desperate time. Their friendship never ceases to bring me great joy.
Audrey, a dear friend, offered to lend me a considerable amount of money to renovate Curt's house early on, in the event I would be able to purchase it. Her love is woven into the fabric of my heart. I am forever blessed with her friendship.
Mary, another dear friend, continues to overwhelm me with her kindness and generosity. By God's grace and with her help as a realtor, I purchased a brand new home, in my preferred location, on the first day we ventured out. Mary not only waived her commission, but insisted on lending me the large downpayment as I awaited a promised gift from Curt's estate. Mary's obedience to Christ’s greatest commandment is a testimony to the power of love and compassion. I am grateful she is in my life and will forever cherish her friendship.
These beautiful people mentioned above, along with countless others, continue to grace me with their love and compassion and friendship ...
What great wealth I have accumulated in such a brief time!
Since that amazing moment the blinders of this world fell from my eyes, I was able to see the reality of Jesus ...
I trust My Father,
who knows my needs & always provides!
I will give you a new heart and put a new spirit in you; I will remove from you your heart of stone and give you a heart of flesh. (Ezekiel 36:26)
Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, the new creation has come: The old has gone, the new is here! (2 Corinthians 5:17)
In my blog, dated October 30, 2019, I shared my dire situation. I did this, knowing that God would meet my needs, and I would be able to testify to His goodness.
I trust His perfect ways and timing!
(see Weakness, a Self-Portrait, link and further explanation provided below)
I fix my eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of my faith!
And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose. For those God foreknew he also predestined to be conformed to the image of his Son. (Romans 8:28-29)
For no matter how many promises God has made, they are “Yes” in Christ. And so through Him the “Amen” is spoken by us to the glory of God. (2 Corinthians 1:20)
The LORD is my rock, my fortress and my deliverer; my God is my rock, in whom I take refuge, my shield and the horn of my salvation, my stronghold. I called to the LORD, who is worthy of praise, and I have been saved from my enemies. (Psalm 18:2-3)
We cannot hide our true feelings or intentions from God. He knows our thoughts and our motives. So, “above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it.”
"For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also." (Matthew 6:21)
"Whoever dwells in the shelter of the Most High will rest in the shadow of the Almighty. I will say of the Lord, “He is my refuge and my fortress, my God, in whom I trust. Surely he will save you from the fowler’s snare and from the deadly pestilence. He will cover you with his feathers, and under His wings you will find refuge; his faithfulness will be your shield and rampart …" (Psalm 91:1-7)
"Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life … Your heavenly Father knows what you need. But seek first His kingdom and His righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well.” (Matthew 6:25, 32-33)
I also began formal Bible studies in January of this year ...
For the word of the LORD is right and true; He is faithful in all He does. The LORD loves righteousness and justice; the earth is full of His unfailing love. By the word of the LORD the heavens were made, their starry host by the breath of his mouth. He gathers the waters of the sea into jars; He puts the deep into storehouses. Let all the earth fear the LORD; let all the people of the world revere Him. For He spoke, and it came to be; He commanded, and it stood firm. The LORD foils the plans of the nations; He thwarts the purposes of the peoples. But the plans of the Lord stand firm forever, the purposes of His heart through all generations. Blessed is the nation whose God is the LORD, the people he chose for His inheritance. From heaven the Lord looks down and sees all mankind; from His dwelling place He watches all who live on earth — He who forms the hearts of all, who considers everything they do. No king is saved by the size of his army; no warrior escapes by his great strength. A horse is a vain hope for deliverance; despite all its great strength it cannot save. But the eyes of the LORD are on those who fear him, on those whose hope is in His unfailing love, to deliver them from death and keep them alive in famine. We wait in hope for the LORD; He is our help and our shield. In Him our hearts rejoice, for we trust in His holy name. May your unfailing love be with us, LORD, even as we put our hope in you. (Psalm 33:4-22)
I do not love Him for what He can do for me,
but for who He is!
Amen! Praise God!
He lifted me out of the slimy pit, out of the mud and mire; He set my feet on a rock and gave me a firm place to stand. (Psalm 40:2) ... Jesus is my rock and firm foundation
Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, the new creation has come: he old has gone, the new is here! (2 Corinthians 5:17) ... Jesus is the way the truth and the life (John 14:6)
"Enter through the narrow gate. For wide is the gate and broad is the road that leads to destruction, and many enter through it. But small is the gate and narrow the road that leads to life, an only a few find it. (Matthew 7:13-14) ... Jesus is the gate
... Jesus said, "If you hold to my teaching, you are really my disciples. Than you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free." (John 8:31-32)
“Or someone may be chastened on a bed of pain with constant distress in their bones, so that their body finds food repulsive and their soul loathes the choicest meal. Their flesh wastes away to nothing, and their bones, once hidden, now stick out. They draw near to the pit, and their life to the messengers of death. Yet if there is an angel at their side, a messenger, one out of a thousand, sent to tell them how to be upright, and he is gracious to that person and says to God, ‘Spare them from going down to the pit; I have found a ransom for them (Job 33:19-24)
But those who suffer he delivers in their suffering; he speaks to them in their affliction. (Job 36:15)
I will give you a new heart and put a new spirit in you; I will remove from you your heart of stone and give you a heart of flesh.(Ezekiel 36:26)
For the wages of sin is death, but the gift of God is eternal life in[a]Christ Jesus our Lord. (Romans 6:23)
Then he showed me Joshua the high priest standing before the angel of the Lord, and Satan standing at his right side to accuse him. The Lord said to Satan, “The Lord rebuke you, Satan! The Lord, who has chosen Jerusalem, rebuke you! Is not this man a burning stick snatched from the fire?” Now Joshua was dressed in filthy clothes as he stood before the angel. The angel said to those who were standing before him, “Take off his filthy clothes.” Then he said to Joshua, “See, I have taken away your sin, and I will put fine garments on you.” (Zechariah 3:1-4)
And I saw the dead, great and small, standing before the throne, and books were opened. Another book was opened, which is the book of life. The dead were judged according to what they had done as recorded in the books. The sea gave up the dead that were in it, and death and Hades gave up the dead that were in them, and each person was judged according to what they had done. Then death and Hades were thrown into the lake of fire. The lake of fire is the second death. Anyone whose name was not found written in the book of life was thrown into the lake of fire. (Revelation 20:12-15)
Curt's brokenness and God's glory
Weakness: A Self-Portrait (My Testimony, part 4)
In my testimony (part 4), I spoke of loved ones with cancer. Curt was one of those whose cancer returned, but in his weakness and pain, he devoted his last days to Christ, assuring him a home in God's eternal kingdom. My friend, Lori, who years ago invited me to a meeting that forever changed my life, also passed away from cancer (days after Curt). I look forward to seeing them when The LORD calls me home. There is another, my Step-Father, who God has since healed of cancer. He continues to love and care for my Mom, whose dementia is in no way improved, but there is a peace that is evident most days.
Curt's dream (posted 2 days before his death)